i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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