I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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