Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
