you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
