"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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