let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
