She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
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I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
did i just pee glitter
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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