i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
