just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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