Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
3 2 1 whiskey
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
