i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
