just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize