Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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