i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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