I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
NoShamevember. You game?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
