she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
