did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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