You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
