Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Are my feet made of real feet?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
