Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
