Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
