so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
