can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
