This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
