Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I need water and some morals
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
