I didn't shave. On purpose
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
