i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize