I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
