i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
