just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The air was thick with penises
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
