Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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