you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
