I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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