I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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