so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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