Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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