How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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