Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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