so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
