why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
