I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
