What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
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my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
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not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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