Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
this just has baby written all over it
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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