Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
