My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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