i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
