He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
