so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
