my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
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