that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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