You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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