I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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