She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
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You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
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My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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