Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
