I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
only you would photoshop your dick
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
