Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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