I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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