So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
