well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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