so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize