Where is the hickey?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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