Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
