mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
well you can't waste a boner
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
