i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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