My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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